ColbertGASM

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Illuminati Initiate

COLBERTGASM was a part of OMGASM. Anyone could participate. The Golden Apple Corps, successfully initiated Stephen Colbert into our secret society. This mission was a well documented success.


Back Story

Discordians, Subgenii, and other ne'er-do-well members of the lunatic fringe have noted certain Discordian subtexts primarily present in Colbert's shtick, but also to some extent in Jon Stewart's. References have been made to Illuminati and Discordian symbols - some subtle, some quit explicit.

For a few weeks after the 2008 writer's Strike, Colbert and Stewart were without their writers. Though each anchor is more than capable of running a one-man-show, we are sure that they could have used more material. Some have noted that even Colbert's writers, without a show to write, have taken to jaking the public. We are certain that even if they don't explicitly consider themselves Discordians, they are hip to our mumbo-jumbo. Stephen Colbert himself seems especially keyed-in to the Discordian wavelength.

So how can we be SURE that they're hip? At our prompting, they slipped Discordian references into their broadcasts. Now we know for sure that we have them in our clutches. Muahahahahahahahah....

July 26, 2007: Colbert literally wields the Golden Apple of Discord.


The Mission

During the week of February 17th-23rd, 2008, we sent Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert as much snail mail as possible. Letters to Colbert invited him into the Illuminati. Letters to Stewart invited him into the Discordian Society.

In order to gain entry, they were instructed to use a specific Discordian or Illuminati "code word" (of their choosing) on the air. Agents of the Illuminati and Discordian Society sent letters listing possible phrases.



The Method

This is what Cramulus told people to do:

  • THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: During Buzz Week (Feb 17-23, 2008), people mail as much mail as you can mail to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. You are encouraged to write your own, but sample letters are available (below). In a perfect world, everyone would mail at least 20 pieces (which is about $8 worth of stamps). But consider mailing more.
    • PROTIP: drop off your mail from different places (different towns, if possible) and at different times over the week.
  • Help spread the word of Colbertgasm. Link to this page. Tell your friends. Make it your signature, if you like we'll even provide some graphics via the ColbertGASM Graphics Generator[1]. Get the word out!
  • Sign up for the Facebook event and spread it to others.


"Our Cabal realized that Comedy Central hosts a fine Hodge and Podge (with chaos and order hidden throughout) from 11:00 PM to 12:00 AM. This Sacred Chao is also known as The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. These two turn the serious news, views and philosophies of our day into kitty litter... they sit in the back of National civics class and throw spitballs... and they throw them at everyone, no matter what their political affiliation." - Ratatosk

Many Sample Letters were provided, or created by the community.


Hail Eris. All Hail Discordia!

SUCCESS

On February 28th, 2008, Stephen Colbert publicly joined the Bavarian Illuminati. Check it out: on February 28th, 2008, he tossed a "23 skidoo" at about 40 seconds in.

Here's some text you can use if you want to spread the word about our mainstream pawn:


The Bavarian Illuminati is a global ultra-conspiracy nearly as old as civilization itself. On February 28th, 2008, they recruited satirical pundit Stephen Colbert into their ranks. To test his dedication, they commanded him to utter the code phrase "23 Skidoo" on the air. Colbert is now in CONCORDANCE with the will of the Illuminati and the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria.

The nemesis of the Illuminati, the Discordian Society, encourages you to investigate his participation. Watch for Discordian or Illuminati code-words on his broadcasts. He may be relaying coded messages to different sects of the Illuminati, and also using mind-control memes to sap the free will of the General Public. Stay sharp. and Think For Yourself, Shmuck.


Colbert's Fnords

Prior to ColbertGASM


After ColbertGASM

  • Two ways of displaying affection, 'net Discordian style

Here are some instances of Colbert referencing Discordian/Illuminati slang and concepts on his show. We fully admit that some of this is probably just weird coincidence (whatever that means), but it's unlikely that everything here is just a coincidence.

  • April 21, 2008 - Jimmy takes a bite out of the Apple of Discord while Colbert waxes on about popes. He talks about Illumination, is angry that he's not a Saint, suggests making everyone else infalliable and the Pope himself falliable. Blog Entry
  • April 2, 2008 - At about 40 seconds, Colbert references the eye on the dollar bill, and adds an inaudible fnord to the end of the joke at 0:51. Then, at 4:00, he sets up a reference to dolphin-mounted anti-missile laser systems, which is straight out of Discordian holy text, Illuminati The Illuminatus! Trilogy.
  • May 29, 2008 - Several Discordian forums, including the PrincipiaDiscordia forums (from whence ColbertGASM originated) use a cute little graphic of mittens as a way of expressing praise. In late May, the graphic iterated into "fuckmittens", cute little mittens with the middle fingers pointed up. Colbert, appreciating the visual joke, used it on his show on May 29th.
  • October 14, 2008 - Get out your tinfoil hats: Fast forward to six minutes, where Colbert starts talking about prisoners. By 10 minutes, he's practically quoting the Black Iron Prison.
  • June 17, 2009 - The Word: Bohemian Grove - There are obvious connections between the Illuminati and the Bohemian Grove. Last night, Stephen Colbert made a bid to join the Belezian Grove, the Bohemian Grove's recent female equivalent. This talk appears to be peppered with code. See thread.


Project Links

  • Colbergasm thread on PrincipiaDiscordia.com forums. Discussion is on the Operation: Mindfuck subforum, so you've gotta register to see it.
"Ewige Blumenkraft!"